Finally…

I finally broke out of my months-long stagnancy. It's like a fever that finally broke. I have direction now. I've been stuck between disappointment in myself for not being where I thought I should be and my sensible side, which kept telling me to get any job in order to pay my bills. I've been called an idealist because I tend to dream big and am not willing to settle for those things in life I didn't plan, but I knew that I was at a critical point in my career where if I didn't somehow develop a compromise between what I want and reality, I would end up settling.

When I got back from Romania, Dad and I had a conversation over our morning coffee about what was next for me. I jokingly said that if I could spend my life volunteering at all the places I love, I would be a happy lady. It took me five months to take myself seriously.

So my decision is this: spend my 9-5 days volunteering with local preservation groups and working on any kind of preservation project that comes along, whether it's paid or not. Then, in my spare time (nights and weekends), get a job to pay the bills. I think my priorities are now properly arranged. Why should I give up what I love just because of a little thing like money? My goal is to spend the next fifteen months volunteering, building contacts, and making money on the side. If I can't make a good enough go of my idealistic life by the time I'm thirty, I'll reconsider the whole settling thing.

But I have a feeling things will go my way. Already, I: have given a presentation on historic landscapes; have been asked to be an advisor to the newly formed Penn Valley Park Conservancy; work at the Kansas City Parks and Rec archives twice a week; am giving a tour of Union Cemetery on Tuesday; am part of a group that will start surveying antebellum architecture in Independence; and have an interview sometime next week at a place where I would love to work. All this in the month since I made my decision.

I think I might be on the right track. Finally.